Aijan Rakhimdinova
Twenty-1 year old Ulan concerns which he was a beneficial bachelor for a time ahead. Regardless if he has got a spouse, new ancient Kyrgyz lifestyle that really needs create-feel grooms to blow a bride rate, otherwise kalym, so you can his fiance’s moms and dads mode the brand new recent college or university scholar can not afford to find married.
“I’m designed to give 1,five hundred You dollars bucks, a horse hence will set you back three hundred-600 cash, a cow which will set you back 2 hundred-350 bucks and you can good sheep value 70 bucks and you may gifts getting the newest parents. Currently this appears unlikely in my opinion, whenever i just earn 31 dollars thirty days,” told you Ulan.
The new kalym is one of the most essential and you can old society of those off Main Asia, traditionally made available to mom and dad of your own fiance as the a cost having bringing up the child. Now, it varies from good symbolic sum of fifty in order to 5,100000 cash and often comes in the type of livestock or expensive items for your home such as for example rugs, chairs and you may products.
Supporters of your own kalym notice it as the a positive habit you to lets people to understand their own worth-while anybody else state it transforms them towards the an item and prevents of many young adults out-of doing a family group.
“I’ve been using my boyfriend for 5 years now, and we also really wants to get married, although material problem out-of my boyfriend doesn’t succeed your to invest the brand new kalym and that my parents wanted me personally,” 20-year-old Gulbarchyn advised IWPR.
“My personal moms and dads told my boyfriend to take at least step one,100000 dollars, a pony, cow and sheep, not depending presents to your elders. In the event I would like to marry predicated on lifestyle, at this time like and you will my glee be more important for me.”
New kalym is dependent on a meeting away from elders off each other families – the quantity showing your ex attributes. In the event the the woman is university scholar or doing work in a beneficial employment next a bigger share was asked.
The latest bride’s parents following return part of the commission in the sort of an effective dowry, which is always smaller compared to new kalym.
Individuals who oppose brand new behavior dispute new society of your kalym works up against the principle of equivalence between your men and women. “If one requires the latest advice that women and you will the male is equal, why should guys pay a fee,” said 25-year-old Sultan.
But not, economist and you may parliamentary deputy Kubanychbek Idinov claims that kalym was not a payment for this new free online dating in San Antonio bride-to-be – an important variation, the guy said, when the women are to end being treated instance a paid for commodity.
“The text fee and you will kalym do not correspond to both. This really is an incorrect interpretation of your program involving the mothers of one’s wedding couple. The price, probably the phrase by itself, insults the human being dignity of one’s girl,” said Idinov.
Your face of the Kyrgyzstan’s Muslim clergy, Yusur Yakubovich Loma, claims the new kalym actually accepted lower than Sharia law although added, “Most of the men and women have its lifestyle, if we take them away that will we end up being next? If the from the rewarding this type of lifestyle, men goes in personal debt, next this is simply not recommended of the Islam.”
“My hubby put me a great kalym . nevertheless when i separated, the guy needed their kalym right back, harmful to beat me personally,” told you Nurmira, a citizen of community of Dolon about Issykkul part, reflecting a common problem.
Psychologist Nazira Isaeva thinks you to definitely prior to relationships the whole kalym is not important, however, later it might serve as a cause of dissension. An excellent female’s standing in her own partner’s family relations depends on a good rates being paid off, allowing the woman to walk extreme certainly one of their the new relatives also because the the girl old.
Aijan Rakhimdinova
“We much more see that just before relationships, women believe that [the fresh kalym] isn’t the fundamental material and this is not important. After they get married, as it happens which they promote it a number of benefits,” told you Isaeva.
Gulmira, a resident from Karakol when you look at the northern Kyrgyzstan, states she regrets not receiving a bigger kalym. “My personal mothers provided me with a costly dowry, while the amount of this new kalym try really small, but once I-come domestic [observe her or him] my personal mothers rebuke me personally while the not much was paid for me personally,” she said.
Several other Kyrgyz individualized that is flourishing because of the kalym is the ancient customs of bride-to-be kidnapping, that’s getting more prevalent certainly one of family just who do not want so you’re able to spend.
During some cases a female can get invest in getting “kidnapped” by the girl sweetheart, so that they can manage to wed, other times women can be abducted and you will obligated to get married facing its usually.
Bride kidnappers also save on matrimony will cost you since partnerships that initiate with an enthusiastic abduction usually are noted having an even more more compact ceremony.
“I am not saying in a position to spend the money for kalym, but i have to locate hitched, and i are determined so you can inexpensive a wife to have me,” said twenty-four-year-old Temirlan.
Financial hardship also has offered go up so you can an effective deformation of your own kalym around hence hard-up moms and dads – constantly regarding the country side – request a bride speed for their girl next order the lady to go home immediately after a few days. This process will then be repeated once or twice.
In spite of the criticisms regarding kalym, of several elderly Kyrgyz is unwilling to give up this new traditions and you can traditions of the ancestors, stating it is sometimes complicated to simply reject your roots. “We have been Kyrgyz, therefore we must get married from ladies centered on heritage, since this is the latest parent’s obligations therefore get this when you look at the the blood,” said you to definitely mommy.